tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985317784245198276.post4050078492990051344..comments2023-10-23T13:52:16.597-04:00Comments on Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: (Deadbeat) Daddy DearestJaclynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02094950174828724338noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985317784245198276.post-36637956723555555972011-12-05T09:53:55.946-05:002011-12-05T09:53:55.946-05:00As far as I'm concerned, unless the woman is r...As far as I'm concerned, unless the woman is running around with a new set of diamond jewelry every week, then the men should just shut the fuck up about the money. The men I have known who bitch about the money are inevitably the ones who don't "put out" with the affection and the quality time, either. The ones who ARE good dads tend not to bitch about the money.wagthedadhttp://www.wagthedad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985317784245198276.post-92057338675160701792011-12-05T09:26:14.229-05:002011-12-05T09:26:14.229-05:00Damn. That's a shame. I want to clarify that ...Damn. That's a shame. I want to clarify that I totally agree that dad's should have equal rights. I just don't see how the ones who don't want to support their kids in any way (hi, dad!) think they deserve the benefits but none of the responsibility. <br /><br />I think it's awful that people are staying in shitty marriages because they won't get to see their kids if they leave. When I was considering leaving my husband, it was a definite factor of consideration that I wouldn't have Caitlyn all the time. Just the idea of a 50/50 split was excruciating. Two weekends a month? Yeah, fuck that. That's just unfair. <br /><br />I hate to make it a socioeconomic issue, as I'm sure there are plenty of deadbeat dads with money, but I grew up ghetto-adjacent, so I've seen first hand what happens in an environment where money is a desperate situation. And it doesn't make for responsible dads (or moms, for that matter). So maybe I've just seen a lot of the other side of this- dads who are barely scraping by so they skip out on child support and the moms end up on welfare (that's what my mom had to do). In my own experience, my dad was simply selfish and stupid and pissed all his money away gambling, plus he was too lazy to hold down a job for longer than a few months at a time. I don't know, I guess I'm biased, but I'd LOVE for the whiny American dads to know how good they have it compared to Austrians!Jaclynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02094950174828724338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985317784245198276.post-60550358973049143122011-12-05T06:58:35.029-05:002011-12-05T06:58:35.029-05:00Men who refuse to support their kids, at least fin...Men who refuse to support their kids, at least financially, are complete assholes. Hands down. They should be paying a percentage of their salary prorated according to the number of people their family had before the marriage split up.<br /><br />They should, however, also get an equal amount of visitation time. I don't live in the U.S., where I would like to assume visitation rights are much more liberal than they are where I live, in Austria.<br /><br />Here, you pay roughly 40% of your income in child support and alimony (and men virtually always pay alimony here, regardless of who left whom) and you are only guaranteed 2 weekends a month visitation.<br /><br />For a father like me (and I know "a few fathers" as well who do NOT fit the label of deadbeat dad), going from seeing my kids virtually every hour of their waking lives except the time spent at work, feeding them, waking them up, putting them to bed, bathing them and playing with them, two weekends out of the month would be enough for me to want to kill myself.<br /><br />But only in such a way as to make it look like an accident, you know, so that they would get my life insurance.<br /><br />And where I live, 99% of the courts will side with the woman as regards child custody, regardless of who left whom, who cheated on whom, and who makes more money. Seriously. I know one couple where the woman threatened to kill herself and her children multiple times in front of witnesses and because there was no "hard evidence," i.e. a tape recording or video of her saying this, the court continuously sided with the mother. <br /><br />(It wasn't until she actually did try to kill herself and wound up in the hospital that they finally gave the father temporary custody.)<br /><br />This is a horror story. It doesn't represent the majority of cases, where men are complete shitheads who do not give a rat's ass about their kids or their kids' financial situation.<br /><br />But it does not mean that the majority of the cases should dictate the full extent of the legislation for the minority of us who actually do something for our kids.<br /><br />Because I will tell you what happens in this situation (and I know at least five men in this situation): the men stay, not because they love their wives, but because they are afraid of losing their children. And then the children get to witness a horrible marriage in progress. <br /><br />When all that would be needed would be more equality in child custody. <br /><br />Why are men afraid of this? Because there are plenty of women (and in this case, when I say plenty, I am talking about 10 women I know personally)who WILL use the children as chips in the bargaining process. <br /><br />It may be that many women feel it's their only chance to get something back from the man to take care of those children. But a child is not the same as a house or a car. And bargaining with the kids, in the negotiation of a divorce, is usually something that the woman has sole power over.wagthedadhttp://www.wagthedad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985317784245198276.post-78088344013771468282011-12-02T13:24:26.488-05:002011-12-02T13:24:26.488-05:00I have a friend going through something similar. S...I have a friend going through something similar. She left her ex after 7 years of him being shockingly irresponsible with their money. Now he's knocked up his girlfriend and expects her to take less money because he can't afford to support 2 kids. Fucking idiot.Jaclynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02094950174828724338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985317784245198276.post-44959614304078654552011-12-01T21:50:24.980-05:002011-12-01T21:50:24.980-05:00This makes me livid. We had a lot better financia...This makes me livid. We had a lot better financial situation than you when my mom remarried, and we are so lucky for that... But my dad never paid a dime. He got a doctor who was later revoked of his license to fake disability for him, so we got Medicaid. Then he had another kid and adopted his baby mama's first child so that we got less of "his" money. <br /><br />Should we petition about that?Mother Knows Best Reviewshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07127811116486063201noreply@blogger.com