Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Damn it Feels Good

Nadine pointed out to me today that my blog format is kinda shitty. I've been noticing problems with some stuff too, but I am not good at this shit, so she sent me some links to templates and she's going to help me figure it out.

The problem is that I can't seem to find a template that conveys my vision. It has to say "KIDS" when you first see it, but then you realize it isn't actually for kids at all. My first thought, upon realizing this was that I need a template that includes Elmo drinking a beer. Or a couple of Muppets having sex. Do any of you know where I might find such a template?

On a completely unrelated note (Am I master of segues? You betcha.) Caitlyn has a new thing she's been doing and I just found out why. How to explain?

Did you all grow up in the ghetto? I can't say my town was exactly "the ghetto" (not then anyway), but it was most certainly ghetto-adjacent. So you know how sometimes when you are in the ghetto, you want to acknowledge another gangsta? What do you do? You don't smile. Not unless you wanna get shot. You don't shake a motherfucker's hand. And you sure as shit don't go up to him and say "hi there buddy! How have you been?".

No. What you do is a brief half-nod type gesture with your head. It isn't a regular nod exactly. There is no up-and-down motion. Just a quick up motion. You get what I'm saying here? It's a simple greeting. It says "I ain't no pig" or "I'm a Blood too" or "smiling is for bitches". What it doesn't say? "I still shit my pants". Someone needs to explain this to Caitlyn.

I've mentioned how much I love my new babysitter. She has taught Caitlyn so much and spends quality time with her and it's all great. We have been with her for almost 3 months now though, and I've yet to meet her boyfriend, who lives with her. This isn't a sticking point for me ... we tried to arrange a meeting and it just didn't happen because he works almost constantly.

So the babysitter and I were discussing this the other day. She mentioned that he was home the other day and offered to watch the kids while she ran out to the store or something. Despite the fact that this is the father of her son and that she trusts him completely, she respectfully declined to leave Caitlyn with him because Rodolfo and I had yet to meet him. She pointed out to him that he should think about how he would feel if they were to leave their son with a babysitter and came to pick him up to find him with someone they didn't know. It was an excellent point and I greatly appreciated her respect.

This isn't the point. My point is that we were discussing her boyfriend. She was saying how he usually comes from his first job and is home for a few minutes before leaving for his second. She pointed out that Caitlyn does know him, but mostly in passing. She told me that when he sees her, he greets her in a way that is unusual to greet a baby. He greets her with the thug head-nod. And she responds to his greeting, naturally, by returning the gesture. Which explains why she was doing this last weekend at my mother's house. I couldn't figure that one out for shit.

So once again, Caitlyn has proven that she is the Tupac to my Bow wow. I simply can't keep up with her level of street cred.


AKD said...

I tried to find Muppets having sex for you, but a Google image search came up with Gonzo and his chicken. Not choking it, just walking it.

Caitlyn is so fly. You have to teach her to drow a hand signal next.

Thank you for the advice on day care! We are starting with someone we don't know Monday, but she is certified and highly rated and not horribly expensive... And Alice open-mouth kissed her the first time she met her, which she has never done to me.

Jaclyn said...

That is sad about Gonzo, but thanks for looking :)

I'm really glad you found someone you like and that Alice likes her too. I always pay attention to little kids reactions to people... they aren't trying to be polite like we are, they just go with their gut and they are usually totally justified if they don't like someone.

AKD said...

Exactly. Alice is terrified of my mom because she always gets all up in Alice's grill, and it's totally warranted. My mom adores her, but Alice's reaction is normal. It sounds like Caitlyn recognizes the way to communicate with people, as well. ;-)

Not sure what "drow" was in my first post. It was supposed to be "throw."

Nadine said...

Caitlin is so gangsta, Anthony should be her new babysitter. Just sayin' Then she can learn some new words like how to say "cockaroaches" with a Scarface accent.

Jaclyn said...

Don't worry Angie, I totally knew what you meant :)

And Nadine- YES. Scarface. She's so badass.

Elizabeth-Flourish in Progress said...

So very hilarious. Do you think she's secretly working on a fist bump?

Jaclyn said...

absolutely...and she recently won her first rap battle.

Lilscorpiosweetie said...

Yep I am totally thinking you nailed it with this layout. It says little kid friendly but then when you start reading it gets all grown up.

Caitlin can teach my kidlets a thing or two about greetings.