Sunday, October 16, 2011

Potty Training? Already?

Today I came to the undeniable conclusion that it's time to start potty training Caitlyn. It didn't come to me all at once, the signs have been accumulating for the past few weeks. Here's how it went:

  1. About a month ago Caitlyn started taking off her diaper. All. The. Time. I seriously consider duct-taping her diapers shut.
  2. After a week or so of indiscriminate diaper removal, I notice a shift in purpose. Every time Caitlyn takes her diaper off, it's because it's wet. She's starting to make the connection!
  3. Eventually, she realizes that she simply hates having a diaper on. She spends about 80% of her time bare-assed, while I chase behind her and lure in child molesters by posting diaperless pics on Facebook.
  4. She starts pointing to her diaper and says "poo-poo" when she's wet. This applies whether she is actually wearing the diaper or simply holding it up for my inspection.
  5. She starts peeing on my floor. By this point, I'd given up on putting her diaper back on 7 times in a row after she takes it off and usually let her run around naked for a few minutes before I try to strap her back in. Until the day she takes off her diaper, immediately walks over to my kitchen and squats down and pees on the floor. REALLY CAITLYN?
Obviously, the signs were there for potty training, but there were a few things holding me back too:
  1. Me: "Caitlyn do you need to go potty?" Caitlyn: "NO". She pretty much says "no" to whatever I ask her.
  2. She still has no mastery of poop. She recognizes her pee game and informs me regularly when she's wet. But aside from a time or two when she took off a poopy diaper, she mostly just waits for me to Toucan Sam her ass on those changes.
So there were signs that I should give it a try, but also ones that made me think I should wait. I certainly don't want to push Caitlyn into something she isn't ready for. It didn't work with solids, or sippy cups or anything else that I tried to start before she was ready.

Today I recognized that it's time to give it a shot. I can only list 2 reasons to not try it, and Caitlyn was able to scratch one of those off the list this afternoon:

Caitlyn was playing and I was dicking around on Facebook when I recognized the familiar smell of a shitty diaper. I turned around to see she'd taken off her diaper and was holding it. That's when I noticed that there wasn't any poop IN the diaper. Nope. She had taken it off before she pooped. But wait. That meant... but... where is the damn poop? OH GROSS, WHY IS THE DOG SMACKING HIS LIPS??? Yup. The dog ate her shit. SO. DISGUSTING. Oh, but wait, he missed a spot! She must have stepped in it first, because it's all over her foot. Awesome.

So it's officially time. She can recognize the need to poop and pee and it might be a little tricky getting her to actually tell me when she needs to go, but I'm hoping she will take the initiative to sit down on the potty and go on her own. We will see. It isn't like I'm not constantly cleaning up after her grossness anyway. Wish us luck!


Mandi E. said...

You're the second person today to announce their intent to begin potty training. To both of you, I say good luck, and never discount the effectiveness of wine to take the edge off of any little setbacks.

Tonya the Hobo Girl said...

I like to give people the bright side of things. The only bright side I can give you is at least Caitlyn isn't a budding artist and decided poo has great consistency as a paint medium. Shit on walls would have been even worse. Worse yet, you are her parent and any art you want to save. It's ingrained in a parents genes to keep and show off their kids art? Ha Ha.

AKD said...

Yay, Caitlyn! Just think how much cheaper it will be without buying a gross of diapers every week.

Jaclyn said...

@Mandi- I totally agree that booze is the answer to every difficult question.

@Tonya- That is an excellent point. It would never work anyway, because the dog always tries to eat her shit. Talk about easy clean-up!

@Angie- It will be awesome, but it might take a while. So far Caitlyn has stood in front of the potty and peed on it, then like an hour later she took a shit while standing next to it. She gets that she should be in the vicinity of the potty when she goes to the bathroom but mostly she just wants to press the button that plays post-shit celebration music.

Anonymous said...

Oh boy. Potty training. Yay fun. Ok, not really, but everyone goes through it. It is hell when it happens, but she will eventually get it. Try rewarding her for going in the potty. But only if she goes IN the potty. We did M&Ms or Pez, because it was just a little thing. Usually 1 for pee and 2 for poo. But you can try stickers or anything she likes that you don't usually give her.

Good luck!!!

Jaclyn said...

@misty- She really likes music so I got a potty that plays music when she pees. Except that she figured out almost immediately that if she takes the seat and bowl out she can press the button to play the music. Yesterday was the first day so I'll keep trying, but I pretty much just ended up with her peeing on my floor then shitting on my rug. I'll try the candy though... if I can ever get her to go on the actual potty.

Jen said...

Oh my God, I seriously just puked in my mouth. Reason #237 why I do not have a dog. That shit (literally) ain't right.

Jaclyn said...

Oh Jen, if only I were joking! My dog is so fucking disgusting. I had to get a special cat box so he stopped eating the cat's shit and now I have Caitlyn dropping loads on my carpet.

AbsoluteMommy said...

GOOD LUCK!! At least she knows the warning signs... My Caitlin just refused to do it, even though she knew the warning signs... So I'd get panties full of shit on our "try it out" days.
Here's the proof I'm the mother of the year... While she was sitting on her potty screaming and crying that she didn't have to go, I was yelling and screaming for her to try... Then I looked in a potty training book that said this was the worst thing I could do...Cue the GUILT! The book also said wait until she was ready, so I did, but had to have the only 3 year old that still shit her pants. Finally at 3 1/2 she decided that big girl panties with hello kitty were awesome...
GOOD LUCK again,
Much Blog Love,

Britt said...

oh dear god.
The image of your dog eating the baby's poop made me really grateful I wasn't eating while reading your blog.

Goodluck with keeping the poop under control in your house. May your household be free of pink-eye and E Coli.

(Maybe I should start writing greeting cards...)

Paula said...

Oh my gosh, this whole story had me cracking up! When my son was about 2 he took his diaper off and left a little trail of poop from his room into the kitchen...yuck.

wagthedad said...

Toucan. Sam. Her. Ass.

That is the most hilarious thing I have read all week.

Man, I have nothing to say about the potty training other than IT SUCKS. And if you rush it, they can develop crazy complexes, like my son, and decide to hold back on pooping for a year, and then you start to get worried.

So I think you just let nature run its course. Eventually they will learn to go to the bathroom. A good friend of mine says that he never met anybody who couldn't use the toilet (or ride a bike)as an adult. Eventually it just happens.

That being said, I have been changing diapers for 7 years. I have another three more to go if I'm lucky. That's 10 years of Toucan Sam. And that's just too long.

Jaclyn said...

@Megan- Yeah I'm starting to think Caitlyn isn't really ready yet either. She seems to think "pee on the potty" means sit on the potty until you are ready to pee, then stand up and pee on the floor. It's AWESOME.

@Britt- I don't understand the appeal. Nasty fucker acts like her turds are Scooby snacks. I have to PUSH HIM OUT OF THE WAY so he doesn't eat her shit! WHY DOG?

@Paula- kids are so disgusting. I've seen homeless guys on the street less gross than a toddler.

@WTD- I have a cousin who had a fear of pooping till he was like 12, so he would hold it until he couldn't anymore and then he would shit his pants. Seriously shit his pants till he was at least 12 or 13.