Monday, February 13, 2012

Whitney Houston Was NOT Your Cousin

Okay guys. I'm sure you've heard. Whitney Houston died.

Is it sad? Sure. But I'm here to tell you something important: Whitney Houston was not a member of your family.

So the weeping lunatics on the news talking about how they can't believe she's gone? Yeah. I hate those people.

It's not just Whitney fanatics, either. My loathing of this phenomenon where deranged fans throw themselves to the ground sobbing and beg Jesus for it not to be true when a stranger who sang a few songs they like (and had a highly publicized drug problem) has died has bugged the ever-loving shit out of me for quite some time now.

I blame Michael Jackson, really. You see, good old MJ kicked the bucket in the summer of '09. 2009 was a bad year for me. It was the year I lost Nicholas. In fact, it was just months before MJ died.

First there was the constant news coverage. The assholes on the news crying over a stranger as if he were a member of their own family. Real fucking tears. Over a man they didn't know who was morally questionable at best. I was legitimately grieving over the loss of my child and these fuckers were devastated that they would never have a chance to see "Thriller" performed live.

Then came the funeral. I can tell you the exact date, actually. Michael Jackson's funeral was on July 7, 2009. Curious how I can pull such a random piece of information out of my ass like that? Because I think I've made it clear till this point that I don't give a shit enough to remember it.

July 7, 2009 was my due date with Nicholas. I should have been celebrating the birth of my son, but instead I was mourning the fact that I would never hold him in my arms again, never see him smile, never hear him cry. So to turn on the TV and see a bunch of retards crying over Michael Jackson was absolutely infuriating to me, to the point that I still get mad when I hear one of his songs. Because somehow I've inextricably linked Michael Jackson to the death of my son.

Anyway, back to Whitney. I'm sorry for her family, her daughter in particular. But really, did no one see this coming? I did. And it isn't my place to mourn her death. That is something to be left to her family.

I will say one last thing though: If you think about it, Whitney really went out of her way to make her death as significant as possible. Right before the Grammys? Miss Whitney, your tribute will be beautiful! Black history month? We have truly lost a black icon! A diva even in death.

6 comments:

Front Desk Ninja said...

I agree.

I will say though, when Betty White kicks the can, I'll possibly shed a tear.

I fucking love her.
mainly from the old reruns of game shows she was on (Match Game, anyone?) but also for her new shit.

AKD said...

I remember MJ's funeral, too. That was Maddie's birthday, 7/7/09. I sat in the hospital desperate for her back, unable to sleep or function, and that horse crap was everywhere.

Selena said...

Jesus H Christ I hate these people.

I was watching one of these "look back at the 90's" shows a few years ago and some douchey commentor said some shit like "Everyone remembers where they were when they heard Kurt Cobain died..." and I was like...UMMMM. NO. Only idiots who put celebrities on a ridiculous god-like immortal pedestal would have been shocked enough to remember where they were when he took his own life. And I am pretty sure that the same kind of delusional ass hats were "shocked" and felt that she was gone "too soon." That woman has been out of control, for years. I personally am surprised it took so long.

And did you hear that they're now investigating the doctors who prescribed her the armload of different tranquilizers? Right, because I am sure she wouldn't have found any other way to get her fix.

Sorry for the rant. But you're the first person who I've seen admit what many of us are secretly thinking.

p.s. Sorry about your son. I couldn't even begin to imagine the loss. There must be something about July 7th though. My daughter was born that day.

Misty said...

So very fucking much agreed!! I felt the same with MJ. I was like, um, do any of you people who so desparately love him right now remember the whole pedophilia thing? I seem to recall some recrimination coming his way by those very same people. Let's get it together, peeps.

And yeah, it is not unexpected that Whitney bit it. And she was not "the most talented singer of our time." She had an amazing voice. In her youth. Then she destroyed it with the drugs. Her voice was crap now. We did not lose an amazing talent. We lost a junkie. I'm sorry, but it's true. LIke you, I am sorry for her family's loss, but I do not personally mourn her. The end.

BNo said...

I stumbled on your blog courtesy of Serena from Because Motherhood Sucks.
Thank you for your freedom in using the word retard and asshole. Other than that, I'm not really a big gusher.
A drug addict is a drug addict. Just because once upon a time they were a good singer (even though I never liked Whitney) doesn't make their death tragic. Most people need to open up a fucking dictionary and look up what tragic really means. If you died due to no fault of your own, this is tragic.
People can be such douche bags. In the small amount of time your son was alive he contributed more than Whitney ever did.

AbsoluteMommy said...

I remember when Michael died since it was the day before Caitlin's 2nd bday and I spent my time watching idiots on CNN while trying to get her party favors ready.
Ahh Whitney - Crack is fucking whack! RIP - also RIP to my ears since all I've been hearing is her booming I will always love you.
Jesus help us!
Megan