Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Facebook Lies about Donald Trump

Yesterday I got on my train home and, as I went to sit down, I noticed a very accusatory message scrolled across the seat in marker. It said "Jerry has feline AIDS". Yes, very accusatory indeed. Obviously I needed to share this important health information, so I posted it as my status on Facebook.

So you know how Facebook does that thing? That thing where you accidentally use the wrong word in your status and Facebook makes all kinds of assumptions about what you might "Like" and your sidebar is all crowded with ridiculousness?

What kinds of things would Facebook assume I like, you might wonder, after posting a status about feline AIDS? Perhaps they would suggest I like Petco... or... antiretrovirals? As it turns out, Facebook doesn't discriminate based on species. Facebook suggested, quite simply, that I might "Like" AIDS.

Ok. Am I the only one? Is it just me or is weird to "Like" AIDS? Not "AIDS research". Not "find a cure for AIDS". Nope. Just AIDS. Like. AIDS.

I followed up the first status about feline AIDS with another stating how odd it was that Facebook wanted me to "Like" AIDS. At that point, Facebook really started to understand who I am as a person. Did I "Like" Medicine? How about Africa? I mean, I did say AIDS twice, after all. Interestingly enough, 10 times as many people "Like" medicine as do AIDS. And, in case you are wondering, you can actually "Like" Xanax. That's way more specific than just "medicine". I mean, I can get behind a Xanax liker, but I don't want to be lumped in with 183,000 people who are liking diarrhea medicine or whatever.

So thank you Facebook. I've been waiting all my life for someone to make blind assumptions about my personality and preferences based on one or two words taken completely out of context.

And now, for your amusement, here is a conversation I had with Nadine on Facebook about Donald Trump.

Michael: It's not really that Donald Trump said the shit he said. That man will say anything to make people pay attention to him. It's that people hang on his every word and believe it, that's the problem.

Jaclyn: I wonder if that will work in reverse. Let's see how many things we can get people to believe about Donald Trump.
April 27 at 9:41pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump was an original member of the Rat Pack.
April 27 at 9:41pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump makes cologne out of $100 bills and calls it "Eau de Douche".
April 27 at 9:42pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump wears a toupee not because of male pattern baldness, but because he was in a terrible accident as a child and and a piece of his brian is exposed.
April 27 at 9:43pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump cured Magic Johnson's AIDS.
April 27 at 9:43pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump is Mel Gibson's real father.
April 27 at 9:44pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump got "Trump Tower" tattooed on his dick.
April 27 at 9:44pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump's first job was as a taxidermist's apprentice. It's where he got the idea for his show.
April 27 at 9:47pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump is the inspiration behind the Dumbledore character in the Harry Potter books.
April 27 at 9:48pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump was the first to coin the phrase "Adonis DNA" and he currently has a copyright infringement lawsuit pending against Charlie Sheen.
April 27 at 9:51pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump discovered rapper Ludacris.
April 27 at 9:56pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump uses a particle accelerator to mix his drinks.
April 27 at 10:00pm · LikeUnlike

April 27 at 10:07pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: You are supposed to add your own! You know how this game works!
April 27 at 10:08pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump is an advertising genius and was the brains behind "looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker" circa 1992.
April 27 at 10:09pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump is flamboyantly gay.
April 27 at 10:10pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: His first gay experience? George Steinbrenner.
April 27 at 10:10pm · LikeUnlike

Nadine: Donald Trump is going to be the next Spiderman in "Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark".
April 27 at 10:10pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump was originally cast in the Richard Gere role in "Pretty Woman".
April 27 at 10:12pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump is a novelist. His pen name? Stephenie Meyer.
April 27 at 10:13pm · LikeUnlike

Nadine: Donald Trump can run a 3-minute mile .... backwards.
April 27 at 10:14pm · UnlikeLike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump has gills on his neck that allow him to breathe under water.
April 27 at 10:14pm · LikeUnlike

Nadine: Donald Trump menstruates.
April 27 at 10:15pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: That isn't coming out of his vagina. He has really bad hemorhoids is all.
April 27 at 10:16pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Sacajawea was just Donald Trump in drag.
April 27 at 10:17pm · LikeUnlike

Nadine: Donald Trump can eat at White Castle and not get diarhhea.
April 27 at 10:18pm · UnlikeLike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump has 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.
April 27 at 10:19pm · LikeUnlike

Nadine: Donald Trump's hair is made out of sea whip coral.
April 27 at 10:21pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump discovered the lost city of Atlantis.
April 27 at 10:21pm · LikeUnlike

Nadine: Actually, Donald Trump was BORN in the lost city of Atlantis, disqualifying him from American presidency.
April 27 at 10:22pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump can hit the highest note of Mariah Carey's "Emotions".
April 27 at 10:22pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Donald Trump started his fortune after slaughtering all the leprechauns and stealing their gold.
April 27 at 10:24pm · LikeUnlike

Nadine: ‎....NAZI gold.
April 27 at 10:26pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: You out? Cause that means I win.
April 27 at 10:27pm · LikeUnlike

Nadine: You win. I'm going to bed. Donald Trump invented the tempurpedic mattress, btw.
April 27 at 10:28pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Duh. That's because he was working for NASA at the time.
April 27 at 10:31pm · LikeUnlike

Jaclyn: Last one: Donald Trump's sperm are shaped like seahorses.
April 27 at 10:35pm · Like

Monday, May 16, 2011

Questions to ask your new babysitter...

I'm sure I mentioned that my sister won't be babysitting for Caitlyn anymore starting in June. I haven't had a ton of time to think about it with everything that's been going on- vacation, then Caitlyn's birthday, then plagues, but I did manage to do some research and find someone I'm interested in. We met last week and it was awkward. That isn't to say I didn't like her, actually, I really did. But it's such a strange thing to be in someone's home asking them nosey questions.

When I was a manager in a clothing store, I did hiring all the time. There was a very specific protocol, with certain questions I always asked. There was also always the very obvious list of questions you don't ask. Things about people's age and religious beliefs and families. Those are all very, very off-limits in a real interview. And the questions I had to ask, well, let's just say it made it very easy to weed out the people I didn't want working at my store. I'll give you a few examples:

Q: Why did you leave your last job?
Possible appropriate answers:

  1. I'm looking for better opportunities (even though we all know that's code for "I hated my last job", at least you are trying to make it sound like you didn't).

  2. I left for school and now I'm looking for another summer job (it was retail, so we had lots of kids who did this).

Inappropriate answers I actually received from applicants:

  1. My boss was a racist (translation: you sat around doing nothing all the time and when they fired you because you were LAZY, you said "It's because I'm black, right?").

  2. They fired me because I had a family emergency and didn't show up or call for 3 days and they said that was "job abandonment" (me: why didn't you call? them: I didn't have a phone and I was in another state and they didn't have a phone there. me: yeah, no phones, that sounds totally legit. I'm 1000% sure you didn't go to the beach when you were supposed to be at work).

  3. The manager hated me even though I worked really hard. I had a problem with this girl who worked there and she was friends with the manager so the manager fired me cause her friend didn't like me.

  4. I was seasonal (Really? What season runs from February to March, exactly? And it looks like you had 4 other jobs that also all lasted a month or so, and you say you left all of those because you were "seasonal" too.).

Q: Tell me what your idea of good customer service is.

Inappropriate answers:

  1. Uhhhh.... ummm. I don't... well. When you say "customer service"... could you repeat the question (I HAAAAAAATED the "can you repeat the question" motherfuckers. It was always on a simple question. They would just "uhhh" and "ummm" for 5 minutes till I was ready to blow my fucking brains out).

  2. The customer is always right? (This is always a question and never a statement. This is the equivalent of saying "this is what you wanted to hear, right?" And so I'd always follow it up with "give me a specific example" and then their heads would explode).

  3. Well you know, sometimes the customer wants you to help them but you have do other stuff and they have to understand that (You failed buddy. You definitely just failed.).

Besides the questions though, there were other things I always looked for and I could tell almost immediately if I would hire someone or not. My company was very customer service focused and they fully expected you to go up to every single customer and say hello and offer them help, so if an applicant seemed shy and barely looked at me, or snotty and didn't smile, I politely conducted a 5 minute interview and sent them on their way because I already knew they weren't right for my store. Some other immediate tip-offs that I wasn't going to hire you? (I swear- seriously all this shit really happened).

  1. If you came in with a group of your friends and all wanted to apply at once. I never, ever, ever hired people in groups. I don't need you and your stupid, slacker friends dicking around for your entire shift. I got shit to do.

  2. If you came in with your mom. More specifically, if your mom wasted 20 minutes of my time explaining to me how her little boy needed a job (this only ever happened with boys) and how I should hire him. Something always told me that your mom would also be the one calling out for you when you wanted to hang out with your friends instead of coming to work.

  3. If you couldn't figure out how to do the online application. I get it that not everyone is tech savvy, but if you called me more than once so I could hold your hand through the application process, I immediately put a retard check next to your name in my head.

  4. I had a guy who came in for his interview and the person he asked to find me happened to be standing next to another manager. He didn't know that and when the other manager tried to introduce himself and shake the guy's hand, he refused to acknowledge him and wouldn't even say hello until I came up there. Did I mention the other manager was actually MY boss?

  5. I had a few interviews scheduled right in a row and I was halfway through one when the next applicant showed up in my backroom a few minutes early. I assumed one of the other employees brought him back, asked if he was my 11:30 interview and told him I'd be with him shortly. When I got to interviewing him and started asking about his job history, he said "oh, that's not me". He had just showed up and came into the back room expecting me to interview him. My actual interview had been sitting outside, waiting patiently for my first interview to be over.

  6. There was a guy who spent the majority of the interview complaining about the air quality in my office and asking if the ventilation system was working properly. Then he answered his phone mid-interview. Yeah. He didn't get the job.

Anyway. My point is that it was easy to know if someone wasn't what I was looking for. And the stakes weren't exactly high. Sure it was annoying to put the time and effort into training someone who didn't work out, but it's not like I was risking my kid's life or anything. So now, here I am, back to square one. Interviewing the new babysitter. It went a little something like this:

Me: Ummm, so you aren't a serial killer, right?

Babysitter: No, I'm not a serial killer.

Me: I see you and your son are of mixed racial descent. My family too! It's a good thing, cause now I know you aren't racist. White people like to say racist shit to me and they think it's ok cause I'm white so I must be racist too.

B: ... Yeah. I guess you can't just flat out ask people "are you a racist".

Me: Yeah. People would probably lie about that. So... yeah... I don't know what else to ask you.

B: makes an effort to play with my daughter and show me stuff around her house because clearly I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing

Me: Your house is clean, but not like, museum clean. I think museum clean people are scary. I'm glad you aren't putting on a show for me (which really probably came off like I was saying her house WASN'T really that clean).

B: Yeah, you wanna see my son's room?

Me: Oh yeah, that's nice. A crib and stuff. And you say you have a pack-n-play too? That's good.

B: Does your daughter have any special needs or food allergies or anything?

Me: No.

B: That's good. My son has food allergies. He can't eat wheat or dairy or eggs.

Me: Wow, that sounds like a pain in the ass.

B: Yeah. We hope he grows out of it.

Me: So, I like you. I have to talk to my husband though. He won't say anything till we leave.

B: Ok. Well I hope he likes me too!

Me: I think he does or he would be rushing me out of here. Rodolfo, do you have any questions you want to ask?

Rodolfo: I see you have a PS3. Do you live with a guy?

B: Yes, my son's father lives here too, but he works 2 jobs and he is hardly ever here. He will be off the Thursday and Friday of Memorial Day weekend. If you would like to meet him, we can make plans one of those days. Maybe we can take the kids to the zoo.

Me: Yes! All good ideas. So, I like you and I want you to be my babysitter.

B: Great!

So yeah, clearly I'm not blessed with an abundance of social graces. We did talk through email a few times, so it's not like some of the normal people questions weren't already out of the way. But it was just so strange, sitting in a stranger's home, hoping my daughter would be safe there. It felt safe and comfortable, and Caitlyn seemed to be immediately comfortable there. And I like the woman. She's around my age and normal. I can't explain it a better way than that. I didn't feel like I was meeting her "on my best behavior" self. I felt like she was relaxed because she knows she isn't a total weirdo and she doesn't have to edit herself on the regular. I wonder what that's like. Because I was definitely editting. In fact, I didn't say fuck even once. It was hard.

So we are going to give her a try. But it feels so wrong, barely knowing this person and just the idea of dropping my daughter at her home and leaving her there and not really knowing how it's all going to go. My sister and I have had enough drama for a lifetime, but at least I always knew what to expect, even if it was annoying. So. Yeah. That's all I've got.

Saturday, May 14, 2011


I know, I know. None of this shit is exciting for anyone but me. And yeah, I don't really care. Here is a video of Caitlyn eating her birthday cake. I promise my next post will have more words.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Caitlyn's First Birthday!


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Birthday Plagues

Are you looking for a way to be 200% more disgusting and disease-ridden? Let me tell you, having kids is the way to go!

Is 200% just not disgusting enough? Try corralling the little disease mongers all in one place. Like your child's first birthday party! Nothing says "let's celebrate" like pink eye and vomit!

So Saturday was Caitlyn's first birthday party. And don't get me wrong, it was lovely. We had a beautiful day, weather-wise, and I was excited that her very first birthday actually fell on a Saturday so we could celebrate with everyone together. There was cake, presents and merriment.

The problem became that not EVERYONE was together. I mean, the most important players were there, save for my step-father, Jerry, who was home with a vicious chest cold. But there were definitely a few other absentees who didn't make it because they weren't feeling well. I'm not mad about it or anything. Who needs a bunch of sickies at a baby's birthday party? No one. That's who.

So remember my dad? He stopped by my house last week while Caitlyn had the stomach flu and apparently he caught it. There must be an incubation period of about a week, because despite feeling crappy for a few days before, the full force of the stomach plague didn't hit him till Saturday. Despite having to take the bus and whining incessantly about how inconvenient it would be, he decided that, stomach flu and all, he would come to Caitlyn's party. And infect the masses. He showed up an hour late, hung around for half an hour, then passed out in my brother-in-law's car for the remainder of the party because he felt so shitty.

Another sickly party goer was my niece, Adrianna. She's had what seemed like a cold and was all slimy and drowsy. My sister really didn't want to miss Caitlyn's party and decided to bring her anyway. And for the most part, besides toward the end when she was very tired, she did very well and played with her cousins and had fun.

Overall, the party was a success. While I was setting up, the new director of the parks department in our county came over to introduce himself and gave me a bunch of free passes for the zoo, carousel and train ride, which all the children thoroughly enjoyed. The older kids, having made it through the zoo and back to the party site before a few of us who had smaller kids, used their active imaginations to think up fun new games for them to play. Games like "who can keep their hand in the bucket of ice water the longest". Ahh yes, childhood innocence!

After the zoo, carousel and "iceberg" games, we sang "Happy Birthday" and cut the cake. Caitlyn had her own little cake, which she dove into with both hands until she was elbow deep in frosting. It was all very adorable. We ended the party shortly after that and all the kids went home with super awesome, age-appropriate gift bags that I made for them (3 and under got a sippy cup and hand puppet, older girls got an assortment of Hello Kitty party garbage and older boys got a water gun and candy). We loaded our car full of goodies and went home. Where we stayed for approximately an hour before I had to take Rodolfo to the emergency room.

Rodolfo has had pretty severe pollen allergies (or as I like to call them, pussy allergies) as long as I've known him, but they've been getting progressively worse over the last few years. I think this is the case for a lot of people (or that's what I've heard- I dunno, I bet it's global warming's fault), but his are very difficult to manage because he has yet to find an antihistamine that does anything to help. So after spending an entire day outside in mid-spring, his eyes were as red as a Twilight vampire and tearing and swelling to the point where he could barely see to drive home (we took 2 cars- I'm not an asshole who just refused to drive him). In addition to the eyes, he had really bad asthma as a kid, which always kicks back up around allergy season. So he couldn't breathe so well either. And he was boogering out his nose like his life depended on large quantities of mucus.

So we did go to the ER. Where they did nothing, but managed to get us out in record time (less than an hour). Basically they said "here are some prescriptions for your symptoms, don't abuse them and go see an allergist". Hmmm... an allergist. Why had that never occured to him before? I mean, it makes sense that I would never think of it, because I have strong genes and don't suffer from such immune system failures as ALLERGIES. Fucking allergies. Really. He informed me that he DID get an allergy shot once and that it hadn't worked. That he was "referred" by someone he used to work with to some doctor in the ghetto who "didn't ask any questions and just gave (me) a shot". Yeah, genius. I wonder why that didn't work out for you.

Anyway. So to say I had a long day on Saturday would be putting in mildly. I ran around from 8:30am-9:30pm between set-up, party, clean-up, ER and prescription filling. So when I woke up Sunday morning feeling achy and exhausted, I wasn't suprised or concerned or thinking I had been infected with the stomach plague at all. By Sunday evening my stomach was a little upset and I skipped dinner, but I still didn't think much of it.

When I woke up Monday morning, I felt like I was hit by a truck. I was freezing and sweating at the same time and I could barely get out of bed. I got up, brushed my teeth and started getting dressed for work. Then I vomitted, took off my pants and went back to sleep. And then I pretty much slept the entire day. I got up a couple of times, to feed or change Caitlyn, but mostly she hung out and played in her crib all day while I slept. I really couldn't have asked for her to be any better. Rodolfo came home a few hours later and he took care of her the rest of the day while I slept and occasionally ate a piece of toast.

As it turns out, it was a good thing I was too sick to go to work yesterday. A few hours after I sent my sister a text to let her know I would be staying home with Caitlyn, she texted me back to tell me she wouldn't be able to watch her till Thursday. Remember how Adrianna was a little sick and slimy at the party? Apparently she had pink eye, and she gave it to my nephew. A few hours after that, my younger sister texted me too "In case A. didn't tell you, Adrianna has pink eye, sorry if Caitlyn gets it too". As of yet, Caitlyn has no symptoms of pink eye and I'm really hoping it stays that way.

As I've mentioned before, we are all close to my mother. We talk to her about everything, and baby stuff in particular. I call my mother long before I ever call my doctor. And if I've spoken to both of them and gotten conflicting advice, I'll usually take my mother's word first. So naturally, I had called her to tell her about all the plagues and whatnot. Adrianna lives with her, so she knew about the pink eye, but when I told her about the stomach plague, she informed me that she too, had gotten it. And remember how my step-dad was too sick to make it to the party at all? As it turns out, he has pneumonia (complicated by COPD and emphysema) and was admitted to the hospital last night for IV antibiotics.

That last part doesn't sound funny. Unless you heard it from my mother's point of view. "I had to leave Jerry at the hospital and come home because every time I coughed I would shit my pants". Yeah. My mom's a classy bitch like that. In fact, my mom's ass has long been a future I've feared for myself. It's sort of a running joke in my family how my mom has no control of her bodily excretions. Like, she's at that age, ya know. That age where she pees her pants all the time. And sometimes she poops her pants. And it shouldn't be funny, but oh my, is it ever funny. I have to think it's funny because if I don't, I'll start to think about how it's probably my future too (this is a problem that has plagued many generations of the women in her family).

Anyway. I'm all off-track making fun of my poor mother's incontinence problems. My point is that there were plagues. Everyone was sick. I hope this doesn't set some sort of trend for Caitlyn's future birthday parties or I'm gonna have to insist that all the invited guests live in a plastic bubble for a few weeks leading up to the party. Plastic bubble. That sounds reasonable, right?




Pics to come soon...

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


Caitlyn's birthday is fast approaching. In fact, it's just 4 days away. It seems absolutely absurd in more ways than one. The most obvious is how fast the time has gone. Those first fews months are such a blur now. I barely remember the days of constant pumping, poop with every diaper change and a baby that actually stayed in one place for more than 5 seconds. That part is easy enough to reconcile, I suppose. It's still a bit sad though. I wish I had taken more video, more pictures of Caitlyn as a teeny tiny newborn. I look at her now, and despite still being small, the changes are epic. She's not just a snuggly little meatloaf anymore. She's a person. No longer just an extension of myself, but a tiny, opinionated little diva.

The part that is harder to deal with is that part about her being her own person. She's a lovely person: funny, smart and ever-endearing. But with each passing day, she becomes more independent and I can't help but feel a burden of sadness as she needs me less and less. She walks now, talks, makes very clear decisions about what she does and doesn't want. It's not like when she was a newborn and I'd give her what she needed and she would take it. Not like that at all. This kid has opinions. And a penchant for the dramatic (her favorite dramatic reaction? If I put her to stand in her crib or on the floor and she still wants to be held, she reacts by throwing herself in a heap onto the floor and puts her head on the ground, sobbing in desperation as if to say "how could you do this to me?").

Obviously I love all these things about her. I love seeing her reactions. In the last couple of weeks, she's taken to scowling at people. It's just about the funniest thing I've ever seen. If you don't give her her way, she furrows her brow, narrows her eyes, dips her head and gives you the evil eye, staring up at you from under her eyelashes. It's hilarious actually. She's also been seen rolling her eyes at people. Yes, my one year old has an attitude problem. But I love it. That probably sounds terrible, like I'm going to be one of those moms with a kicking, screaming 4 year old in the supermarket one day, but I don't really put up with too much bullshit and I don't see it going that far because Caitlyn is generally so good-natured. But the scowling. Oh my god. It's just too much. I can't help but laugh.

But when I think about these things, they remind me that my baby is growing up. That one day, she will go off to Kindergarten and I'll embarass her by sobbing uncontrollably as she walks into school for the first time. Then she will get her first period, and I'll embarass her by telling her about pads and tampons. Then she will go to college and I'll humiliate her by talking to her about chlamydia and unplanned pregnancy and how college boys are dirty pervs who will say absolutely anything to get in her pants. Then I'll make it 1000% worse by saying something like "if you are going to put out, at least make sure they go down first". Because that's what my mom would have said to me.

Of course, all these realizations make me cry. I think of my baby being a grown-up and it forces me to picture my life once she's made a life for herself that I'm not the biggest part of.

Obviously I want all this for her. I want her to have all the experiences of school and love and work and children. But then I just want my baby to be my baby forever. And in a way, I know she always will be. I think of what my own mother said to me after I had Caitlyn. She felt a sense of loss with all three of her daughters having babies so close together. Like we had families of our own now and we wouldn't need her anymore. I guess I have to take comfort in the fact that I know I'll always need my mother, so I can hope that Caitlyn will always need me.

I think, in part, this is why I've been obsessing about having another baby (oh, did I not mention that?). It's not about being unfulfilled. Caitlyn brings unparalleled joy to my life and I could never have another thing besides her and I know I could still be happy. It's the sense of loss that gets me every time. I've lost a baby once, and even though I know I won't lose Caitlyn in that sense, I can't help but go to that scary "my baby is going to leave me" place every once in a while.

I'm not seriously considering it or anything. I'm certainly not trying to get pregnant (the whole shitty, sperm-that-couldn't-find-an-egg-in-a-damn-chicken-coup issue helps me keep in perspective the reality that anyway), but because we can say with a good amount of certainty that I won't get pregnant without serious medical intervention, we don't use birth control ever. And having gone through years of trying then fertility treatments makes me annoyingly hyper-aware of all my body's fertility signals. So, despite having no real reason to examine my cervical mucus, I find that I do. And despite knowing that I won't get pregnant, I can't help but think "we had sex right when I ovulated, maybe I'm pregnant". It's frustrating and compouding an already annoying reflex reaction to my Caitlyn growing up and having birthdays and all.

Luckily, I've been super busy planning Caitlyn's birthday party and cleaning up diarrhea so I haven't had much time to think about it. That's right, another stomach bug for Caitlyn. She is feeling a bit better now though, and her party is on Saturday, so I'm really hoping she is 100% by then. My baby can NOT not eat cake on her birthday!