Lezzie McGuire

I think my babysitter is trying to make sure Caitlyn doesn't end up being a lesbian. Do I need to tell you how such a thing is accomplished? Obviously, by doing girly shit with her. Because those lesbians, the only thing they hate more than Jesus is looking like a girl. Let's backtrack a bit, shall we?

So since before Caitlyn was even born, she has had a lot of clothes. I mean a LOT of clothes. I love to find cute things for her to wear. The problem lies in the execution. I'll find something I love, then I save it for a 'special occasion'. Which obviously never comes. It was especially true when she was an infant because mostly she wore onesies or pajamas... the two piece kind, in case you were wondering, because she's been kicking her way out of the feety ones since she was 5 months old. So most of her cute outfits were saved for when we were going to visit someone or going out somewhere- which didn't happen much until she got a little older and it was a bit less stressful.

Then there's her hair. You've seen it. It started off very straight, just like mine. When we went on vacation, the humidity decided that Caitlyn's hair was now curly. And I have no fucking clue what to do with it any more. Truth time? Sometimes I don't even brush it. Ok, usually I don't even brush it. My mom managed to manuever some adorable pigtails when she had her a few weekends ago. ALLEGEDLY, Caitlyn sat there like a perfect little angel while she got her hair did. She does not do this for me. And IF I manage to get in some half-assed version of a ponytail, she rips it out in 4 seconds. Explain to me how this kid still had pigtails in her hair when my mom dropped her off after a 2 hour car ride. EXPLAIN IT TO ME. Because I just do not have the patience to do her hair. Ever.

Finally, there is the issue of ear piercing. I just don't get it. I mean, not that I don't get it ever. But I certainly don't understand why people decorate infants like Christmas trees. Babies don't need bling or sparkle. They are plenty cute enough on their own. Culturally, ear piercing is VERY common with hispanic babies. The brown side of the family was horrified when I refused to pierce Caitlyn's ears. "How will people know she's a girl?" they asked, aghast. Ummm... maybe the pink outfits and the vagina? That's how I usually know. And really, who gives a shit if you can't tell the sex of a young baby? They are supposed to be ambiguous, you know? Because they aren't sexually matured. Am I really supposed to be upset if someone thinks my infant is a boy? Because I don't give a shit at all actually.

What I'm saying here is that Caitlyn isn't fancy. Her hair is usually (always?) a mess, and lots of times I just throw on the first tee shirt and pants I find when we go out. I don't think it's a big deal, and it sort of goes along with her personality. She's a toddler, which means she's always coated in a layer of goo and a good majority of the time that goo has migrated to her clothes and hair. And she's too busy being a badass who isn't afraid of anything to think about being dainty. She's not really a girly girl at all.

Fast forward to this week. The other day, the babysitter informed me that Caitlyn wanted her ears pierced. She said Caitlyn was playing with her earrings and she asked her if she wanted earrings and she said "yeah". Babysitter isn't a moron and she knows I'm not either, so I definitely don't think she meant "you should listen to your one year old about this", but I wonder if she wants to know why I haven't pierced Caitlyn's ears.

Then yesterday. I pick Caitlyn up and her toenails are painted pink. It's cute and all... but I found myself wondering if she's telling me I don't know how to make her look like a proper girl or something. Also, I wondered how long it would be till Caitlyn tried to eat the polish off her toes, but that's a whole separate issue. Babysitter has a little boy and maybe she's just playing out her baby girl fantasies with Caitlyn.

Or maybe I'm feeling like  I should be doing more and I'm not. Not budging on the earring thing, but maybe I should start brushing Caitlyn's hair or some shit.